Behind the shadows.

She is nowhere close to a perfect girl, and it takes a supernatural kind of love to understand this. Behind the confident smile was once a broken girl, who only peeped through the windows of her soul but could never dare to come out. She dated wrong, believed wrong, did everything wrong and so it only made sense for her to build a wall around herself to shield her heart from the pain caused by opening herself up to the world, and so she would not allow anyone to come close.

But little did she know that these walls were slowly closing in on her.

She badly wanted to be a daddy’s girl, but her dad was not the emotional type and so he replaced loved and affection with provision. So she looked for this kind of love from other men, thinking they would love her just right. They spoil her with gifts and called her pretty and for a moment she felt “worthy”.... but what she did not know was that these men only needed another kind of loving...Her friends were all beautiful and seemed to have it all figured out, so every day she would compare herself to them and all she could see was how flawed she was. That’s when her self-esteem took a nosedive.

She got used to living a double life and so she could handle smiling at and with everyone daily while inside, she was falling apart. She knew in her heart that no one would understand what condition her heart was in, so she never bothered explaining it to anyone. Until she met him.She trusted him, but he abused her trust when he forced her to sleep with him. You see, she couldn’t tell anyone about it because she had s*x before and so the guilt and the pain of betrayal would not allow her to talk about it. This was the last straw.

She knew she needed help only that Jesus did not feature much in her mind because she did not think He would get involved in such a “messed” up situation like hers and also she felt like she had gone overboard with her sins.

She did not know that all this time only Jesus understood her pain because He had gone through pain before when He died for her. He also knew about the nights she cried herself to sleep because He was right there holding her, but she couldn’t feel it because she did not believe in Him. She also did not know that every time her heart broke, it broke His heart too because even in her “mess” He loved her more than anything. Most importantly she did not know that every time she said no to Jesus’ help, it grieved Him so deeply.. more than words could ever explain because all He wanted was to clean her up, restore her, give her beauty for her ashes and just heal her from the inside out, show her love like she had never experienced before and so much more...Only if she would let Him...